My Immortal Commentary
by maggzy1212
Summary: I decided to do a commentary on the worst story ever made My Immortal. Flames are appreciated :D
1. Intoduction

Hello, this is Maggzy1212 and Im going to be doing a commentary on Tara's story My Immortal. The worst fanfiction to every grace the world with its exsistens. Im not even going to try and spell correctly cause after you see her spelling you will think Im god.

So yeah Im sorry for distroying your mind from here on out.


	2. Chapters 1 through 4

Chapter 1. **God help me Im really doing this...**

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) (**Am I the only one that dosnt actually get this?)** 2 my gf (ew not in that way) **(Umm affended)** raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. (**God there's 2 of them that spell like this? Their poor partents ; n ;)** U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! (**That poor boy. He was probably dropped on his head as a child to even concider going out with you.)** MCR ROX! (**They used to till you brought them up .)**

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way **(Your parents must have hated you)** and I have long ebony black **(You have black black hair?)** hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid **(Limpib? What the fuck is limpid? You are the only person I have ever seen use that word. Im not even going to google it)** tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee **(Your friends must be blind. Im right arnt I?)**(AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). **(So I should leave then cause I had to google her to figure out who she was? Wish I could. I really do) **I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. **(Please, PLEASE tell me Im not the only one disturbed by what she typed there)** I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. **(OMG DO YOU SPARKLE DESU~!)** I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England (**Scotland. I havnt even read the books and I knew that!) **where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen)**No shit dipshit)**. I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. **(I have never been to a Hot Topic store before. Never even seen one so I cant really say anything about that.)** For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. **(Umm honey. Thats not goth. Thats punk/goth wanna be. There's a difference)** I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.**(I dont care what your face looks like)** I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. **(Is that actually possible?)** A lot of preps stared at me.**(Why the hell do you think they where doing that huh?)**I put up my middle finger at them. **(Umm that was really uncalled for)**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! **(Suspense. You're doing it wrong.)**

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. **(Im not even going to comment on how wrong that is)**

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. **(Well that conversation was interesting...)**

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! **(No its not.)**

Chapter 2. **(Ugh why and I still doing this ; n ;)**

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok! **(Im not even...)**

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. **(Where were you expecting to wake up?)** It was snowing and raining again. **(Again is that possible?)** I opened the door of my coffin**(Since when does Hogwarts let children sleep in coffins? I havnt read the books but Im pretty sure they dont let you.)** and drank some blood from a bottle I had. **(That sounds epic awesome delicious)** My coffin was black ebony **(Again. It was black black?)** and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. **(See told you. Punk/Goth wanna be)** I got out of my coffin and took of **(*off)**my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. **(That sentence is messed up at the end thank you very much. Also that sounds extreamly uncomfortable)** I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me.**(Cause that isnt creepy. She woke up and grinned at you. That extreamly disturbing)** She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots.**(Again that sounds extreamly uncomfortable)** We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.) **(Unneeded information thank you very much)**

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly. **(Uh I wouldnt really call it talking. He said hi and then you very rudely walked away.)**

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. **(Wow calm your hormons. It was just a freaking question.)**

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily. **(Wow. Bipolar much?)**

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me. (**That sentence sounds awkward to me...)**

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. **(Pick one jeez. Either you have a favourite or you dont.)**

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked. **(Draco has officially lost his mind)**

I gasped. **(I know right? Why the hell would he want to take you? I would be surprised too.)**

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! **(Capitalization, spelling, use of actual words) **FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte. **(Yes cause you have the ability to write a song... Oh no... You're Rebecca Black arnt you!) **

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff **(That right there is the best description EVEH) **on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. **(How the hell does that work?) **I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. **(What the fuck?) **I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. **(*headdesk*) **I painted my nails black and put on TONS **(Unneeded caps lock there) **of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. **(You finally catch on now? OH MY GOD. I need to lie down ; n ;) **I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. **(... Im not even) **He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), **(Would they actually play at a Good Charolette concert? This is an actual question cause I have no idea who the hell they are) **baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!). **(Holy jamma llama if Im whining about your grammer that means something. Fix it before I start crying!) **

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice. **(You're sad but your shouting like your excited? Mind = blown)**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) **(Ugh) **and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. **(UGH) **When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
>They're all so happy you've arrived<br>The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
>She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song). <strong>(We already know that Rebecca Black. Thanks for that info right there)<strong>

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad. **(UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH)**

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on. **(WHY YOU SO STUPID TT~TT)**

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said. **(Poor bastard)**

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective. **()**

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. **(Yeah okay I just have one thing to say. )**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz **(Why the fuck did you crawl into the damn car? Walk like a fucking person dipshit) **,but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest! **(Again. Suspense. You're doing it wrong)**

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok! **(I cant do this anymore ; n ; Im going to die from all this stupid)**

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" **(Geez calm yourself. Like I said. Bipolar)**

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. **(Oh. My. God. You can tell she is a fucking fan girl. Not that you couldnt tell from before or anything. Ugh and all this American spelling is driving me insaine lol)**

And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. **(Just as you... wait what? How the hell does that work?) **Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. **(Not going to point out the wrong usage of words but if he climbed on top of you how are you up againts a tree? Picture that in your head folks. How fucked up does that look? LOL) **He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. **(... What. The. Fuck)**

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" (**FAVOURITE PART OF STORY RIGHT HERE FOLKS LOL)**

It was….Dumbledore! **(ONCE A FUCKING GAIN. SUSPENSE. YOU'RE DOING IT FUCKING WRONG)**


	3. Chapters 5 through 9

Chapter 5. **(Thats right Im still doing this... why? I HAVE NO IDEA)**

AN: STOP flaming! **(No.)** if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! **(I have absoulutly nothing to say to this. My brain has melted. Its gone. I dont want to do this anymore ; n ; )** Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache **(Uh yeah Ill pretend I belive that and what not)** ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! **(DON'T HAVE SEX, BECAUSE YOU WILL GET PREGANT AND DIE You are awesome if you get that LOL) **PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! **(So why is there 44 chapters in the story? Who the hell would give you good reviews? And yes you read that right. There are 44 chapters...)**

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him.**(What? Is that supposed to make sense?)** He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted. **(*headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**flipsdesk*)**

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. **(*facepalm* I dont even have anything elts to say to this just ughhhhhhh) **Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry. **(Oh good : D Professor Snape should give it to them good)**

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice. **(Wait. If Dumbledore is the headmaster then why is he reporting to them? I dont even know this has fried my brain. Continue)**

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?"**(Uhhh you know what never mind)** asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" **(*rage**rage**rage*)**

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." **(...WHAT? How the fuck does that make sense? UGH I WANT TO CRY THIS IS SO BAD)**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels.**(Arnt you going to like bed or some shit? Why the fuck are you dressing like you're going to the annual Whore's R Us meetig? Yeah that dosnt make sense but it dosnt have to)** When I came out….

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte.**(Im youtubeing that song right now to see if thats a good thing or a bad thing.)** I was so flattered,**(Wow didnt realize I actually knew this song. By the way she shouldnt feel flattered. I have no idea why the fuck she is)** even though he wasn't supposed to be there.**(THEN LEAVE)** We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room. **(That is so bad I dont EVEN. IM GOING TO HAVE A FUCKING MENTAL BREAKDOWN SOON UGGHHHAREUFBSGSJIGN;IGIGNFGA)**

Chapter 6. **(*Wants to crawl into a corner and die while she can still think like a normal human being*)**

AN: shjt up prepz ok! **(I can only read that as shit up by the way. Cant stop laughing LOL)** PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows! **(I dont even understand what the hell you just said)**

The next day I woke up in my coffin.**(Which shouldnt be there by the way)** I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end**(Then how the hell is it actually covering anything? Thats just wrong)** and a matching top with red skulls all over it**(Okay I admit I want that top but only cause you said it had red on it .)** and high heeled boots that were black. **(She must be going to the Whore's R Us meeting. Wonder what they're like. Probably a lot of church loveing girls talking about how being a skank is wrong... Yeah thats totally it)** I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses**(REMEMBER THIS RIGHT HERE)** in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple. **(...Thats bad for your hair)**

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood **(*crys* Im so tired. I dont wanna do this anymore ; n ; )** Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top. **(*gasp* ...I actually liked that top ; n ; )**

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. (**You tell him!)** I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. **(It dosnt matter what the hell he looks like! He just got blood all over your fucking clothes! UGHH. *sigh* Calm down. Calm down... Alright continue) **He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. **(Oh fuck no...) **He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English**(Like pretty much EVERYONE ELSE THERE)** accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko. **(Oh I didnt need to know that. I really didnt want to know that ; n ; )**

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned. **(You already fucking know who he is. Its kinda obvious when you were discribing him! Ugh FUCK IT. I give up)**

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled. (***crys*)**

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. **(Giggled? Ughghh I dont even have the energy to do this anymore)**

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed. **(No one cares)**

"Really?" he whimpered. **(Why the fuck are you scared?)**

"Yeah." I roared. **(...Wow. Fuck so she's a Vampire/Witch/Lion hybrid? Mind = blown ONCE AGAIN)**

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him. **(Stop leaving people without saying goodbye. Its rude. I dont just start a conversation with some then walk away two seconds later. Jeez. Manners, learn them)**

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life **(*dosnt even care anymore*)**

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws**(THE FUCK? HOOOOW?)**. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! **(... Is she trying to curse me or something? Im scared ; n ; )) **STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake! (**She seems bloody fucking fine to me!) **

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish**(What does that have anything to do with it? I dont give a shit what colour your nails are)** as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). **(Fuck yes to the extream)** I waved to Vampire.**(Wait... wasnt he just somewhere else with you talking? I dont even know)** Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. **(Uhhh yeah sure. I totally understood that)** I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. **(Since when would Harry oh sorry VAMPIRE care that you're going out with Draco?) **Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then… **(OMG THE SUSPENCE)**

We started frenching passively **(... Is that possible?) **and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. **(So you won't kiss like ya mean it, but you'll strip like you do…alright then)** He felt me up before I took of my top**(But you said you already took it off... Didnt you?)**. Then I took off my black leather bra**(Ow dude. Wouldnt that be like extreamly painful to wear?)** and he took off his pants.**(They should be already off but okay)** We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?) **(Yes very much so. Unneeded caps lock again by the way.)**

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden**(Do you ever actually finish haveing sex? You always get interupted by something extreamly stupid)** I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. **(Its his fucking arm. How the hell had you never seen it before?) **It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… **(OMG THE SUSPENCE. I CANT TAKE IT JUST TELL ME ALREADY) **Vampire! **(Told you. Something stupid)**

I was so angry. **(Me too. But for different reasons. Trust me)**

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed. **(Um why is she spazing? Vampire could be anything really but we all know that isnt the case cause this is so omg obvious so Ill just shut up)**

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much. **(The only thing left to do is kill her.)**

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!" **(If he did you gave them to him)**

I put on my clothes all huffily**(..Is that a word?)** and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked.**(PUT CLOTHES ON THANKS)** He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. **(Umm ew. Unneeded information. I really didnt need to know that.) **I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people. **(Wow your descriptive power is so amazing I dont even know what to say)**

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled. **(Dont be copying Dumbledore! Thats his line D : )**

Chapter 8. **(Im sorry for your brain hurt at the moment. I am soooo sorry)**

AN: stop flassing ok!**(Umm I think I need a dictionary. What the fucks that suppsed to mean?)** if u do den u r a prep!

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked **(Jesus christ Draco! Put some fucking clothes on!)** and started begging me to take him back. **(Why the hell are you trying to get her back?)**

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly. **(Why the hell are you trying to get her back?)**

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. **(Is this story suppsed to make sense?) **She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. **(THAT SENTENCE DOSNT EVEN MAKE SENSE)** She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. **(What is the point in that?) **Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it.**(Omg information! SO much . What is even going on?)** She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed.**(I dont give a shit!)** It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. ) **(*blank stare*)**

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him. **(Umm is that normal?)**

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him. **(Switch the names and then you'll get it right)**

Everyone gasped. **(oh god its like a bad soap opera .)**

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. **(..What?) **I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony**(No she isnt)**) for a while but then he broke my heart. **(Is this supposed to be Draco?)** He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.) **(*headdesk*)**

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. **(Im guessing we are back to the emo-bitch but I could be wrong) **I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility **(...Is that actually a word? I want to google it now but Im scared of what could come up...) **to Draco and then I started to bust **(A move LOL)** into tears.

Chapter 9. **( (****m**ಠ**v**ಠ**)****mc****ｳｪｳ****I'm so mad im Flippin tables!** **)**

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! **(Neither did I)** dis is frum da movie (**Hahaha no) **ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! **(You're writing this! You have control over everything! Unfortuntly) **besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! **(Thats wrong thanks)** MCR ROX! **(You know I used to love that band.. NOW... Im not so sure .)**

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco. **(Eww. Why would you stand there? Acts againts nature went on there)**

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything **(Woah epic right there) **started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose**(Said that already)** (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort! **(Also said that already)**

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away. **(Thats probably wrong but since my knowledge is all based off the movies I dont know)**

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. **(...Isnt that Hermoine's cat? ...Im confused.) **Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. **(I would scream to if a cat was magically thrown at me) **I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped. **(First, if you were a sadist you wouldnt have stopped. Second, EWWWWWW)**

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" **(...WTF Just happend?)**

I thought about Vampire and his sexah**(LOL)** eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? **(Oh. My. God. You're so friggen stupid! *headdesk**headdesk**headdesk*braindamage*)**

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged. **(Then shoot him! Or at least shoot yourself please ; n ; )**

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!" **(Im pretty sure he's begging for death right about now)**

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face**(LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL)**. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. **(... He knows you're together cause he can move shit with his mind? ...Whatever thats still cool)** "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" **(Stop talking like you just stepped out of a shakespearean play! Ugh its so annoying)** he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods. **(Then you forgot about everything that just happend cause you're stupid and have the brain capacity of a fetus)**

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!" **(Now you're all happy? Pick an emotion and stick with it before I get whiplash)**

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing**(I dont give a fuck what he's wearing)** white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit)**(No I dont.)** between Joel Madden and Gerard Way. **(I STILL DONT GET IT)**

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled. **(Yeah that dosnt make sense. Just thought I should tell you for future reference. Not that it really matters though)**

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. **(Uhh you might want to watch where you're going. You could accidently fall and hurt your- You know what? Never mind : ) )**


	4. Chapters 10 through 13

Chapter 10: **( ; n ; )**

AN: stup it u gay fags**(No you did not just say that)** if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok! **(She wasnt a muggle to begin with but whatever)**

I was really scared about Vlodemort all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. **(Okay seriously? Stop you're seriously pushing it right now) **I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. **(I dont care) **People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. **(That would sound like a bunch of white noise for your information. I dont ever want to hear a cross between those bands) **The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) **(Diabolo? Really? Isnt someone already named that or something? I dont know it sounds really familiar .)** and Hargrid. **(*facepalm*) **Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed**(Everyone you hang out with is always depressed. Its nothing new. So yeah they dont really have an excuse for missing practice)** so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak) **(Wasnt Ebony wearing cross earrings? *goes and checks* Yes. Yes she did) **and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. **(That movie isnt depressing. I actually really like that movie... I want to watch it now) **I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not. **(Wow you go to those Whore's R Us meetings a lot dont you?)**

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears. **(How do you bust into tears? LOL)**

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice. **(What?)**

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. **(Calm yourself jeez)** And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears. **(Well be right back with Days of Our lives after this short commercial break)**

Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?) **(Muggle? Wait so she's a muggle now? I dont think Tara knows what a muggle is)**

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying. **(We get it. You're crying)**

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. **(Cry wisely? What?) **(c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists." **(But you said that he couldnt die that way...)**

Chapter 11. **()**

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! **(What? I dont even know that that says) **sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me! **(I seriously sat here for 5 minutes trying to figure out what the fuck that says)**

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! **(What?) **B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off **(Well jeez she was just trying to help. Didnt have to like eat her.) **and I ran to my room crying myself.**(You were crying Ebony's? ...Thats a really scary thought. Im moving on before I think anymore of that)** Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way. **(No he wouldnt. But yeah okay whatever)**

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood **(You were already crying and by the look of the previous chapters you can only cry blood just like the Mary Sue you are. So this isnt new information) **and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily **(You'll get water everywhere if you do that) **while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. **(Careful you dont get meat juice everywhere.)** I was so fucking depressed!**(We know already. You covered that)** I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. **(it has sand in it? Why the hell would you wear that then?) **I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff**(Epic explanation right there)** on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. **(wasnt butter)** Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap**(e)** was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! **(Sue rating is off the charts)** And Loopin was masticating to it! **(THATS RIGHT LOOOPIN YOU OMNOMNOM TO THAT UNFF B|) **They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. **(...You have clothes on) **Suddenly Vampire ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. **(Womb? Meaing the ability to carry children? LOL WTFBBQ)** I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazilliontimes and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore**(LOL Pick a spelling and stick with it)** ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly… **(Im starting to get confused as to whats going on)**

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk. **(Wait whats going on? I dont get it! ; n ; What the hell is going on?)**

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!" (**Umm no but continue)**

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT**(Wrong)**…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" **(Ughhhh)**

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him.**(Since when did "Dumblydore" shoot him?)** "There must be other factors." **(*sigh*)**

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly. **(Any what? WHAT THE HELL IS EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT?)**

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!" **(Didnt Snape have it?)**

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. **(Yeah, I know how you feel SISTAH. Hate that feeling LIEK TOTALLY)**

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. **(Woah. What was that last option? The fuck.)**

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. **(Umm this dosnt make sense.)**

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan. **(WHAAT? I DONT GET IT! WHAT IS HAPPENING? GFJGNGNIG)**

"Because I LOVE HER!" **(... GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH))**

Chapter 12. **(Yay! More brain damage! I love brain damage 3)**

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! **(*Is Canadian so sadly cant really say anything about that*) **how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok! **(PICK ONE JEEZ)**

**(What? Where are we now? Im so confused I want to cry ; n ; ) **I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.**(Red whites? How the hell does that work?)**

I stopped. "How did u know?" **(I cant follow this. Im trying so damn hard but I have no idea what the hell is going on)**

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!" **(I have no idea what to say cause I CANT FOLLOW THIS AT ALL)**

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now**(Wow change of location. Alright)** recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID**(I think she was trying to prove that she can spell his name right... Yeah she failed)** were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. **(I cant even anymore)** Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. **(That must have hurt like a bitch)** I put up my middle finger at them. **(Thats attractive)**

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Enoby **(Who's that?)** I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious **(He's v. serious guys. Watch out.) **voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway **(Uh huh. Pink coffin and clothes. You so hate the colour pink)**, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik. **(I dont think thats why honey but I guess you can think that. Dosnt really make a difference)**

"No Enoby.**(Has her name just randnomly changed or something?)**" Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?"**(What? I dont understand that sentece)** I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses. **(Well at least he actually brought you something and didnt like sufficate you in your sleep with a pillow. I wish he did the later by the way)**

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) **(Yes it is.) **to it he added silently. **(Does that all actually make sense to you? Cause I have no idea what the hell she's talking about)**

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! . **(Oh god. Please no)**

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely. **(Yes cause thats what you are. "Wise")**

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes."**(*headdesk*)** Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!" **(Sadly I know what this is .)**

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep. **(A huge black flame that was black. Mhmm. Alright awesome, but what colour was it?)**

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?" **(What the fuck is Draco? OHH Where LOL That sadly took me like 10 minutes to figure out)**

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of **(STEEL)**flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) **(Hey I actually get one of your bad jokes for once : D)** u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache **(WE GET IT. Would you stop bringing that up?) **or else he would have said something back.

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!"

Anyway when I got better**(Time skip?)** I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it.**(Sounds really uncomortable)** There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. **(Thats really weird.)** I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) **(Why the fuck would you want your hair like Samara's! You would be running into walls non-stop) **and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss. **(Wouldnt the black lip gloss and red lip stick just make black together anyway?)**

"You look kawai, girl."**(Oh god she did not say that)** B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit) **(Okay we get it. Stop for heavens sake!) **you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. **(If you say something sadly then the first thing we think is that you're sad. You dont have to tell us) **I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed**(Right in front of her? Isnt that I dont know awkward?)** and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. **(Hair of Magical Magic Creatures? I need a break .) **He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff. **(Umm wouldnt someone stop him from eating the child?)**

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way. **(...What?)**

We both looked at each other for some time.**(...Oh great they're going to have sex arnt they?)** Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other. **(Oh for fuck sakes. Ebony is like a fucking bunny.)**

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else. **(Again. She never actually gets to finish)**

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily. **(You started it! You hypocritical bitch. Jeez)**

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. **(Red whites? Again? What the hell does that even mean?)**

"NO!" I ran up closer. **(Umm didnt you leave?)**

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!" **(Wow... deja vu. Didnt this already happen?)**

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111 **(Why are you thanking her then?)**

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I **(Umm if you know her in real life text her or something. Or if you dont understand what a text is ASK HER IN PERSON)**

Chapter 13.

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! **(You stole from your fucking friend? What the hell?)** PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there. **(Umm okay. Where is there?)**

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily. **(WTF Is his problem jeez..)**

"Volsemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice. **(Pictureing that in my head scares me...)**

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged. **(Dont what? He hasnt said he was doing anything.)**

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." **(You were just crying over Draco a few chapters ago...) **then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!) **(Umm wernt you like a homophobe a few chapters ago?)**

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. **(Okay that seriously cant be healthy.) **Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed. **(But then being around Ebony the creater of stupid made you forget yes?)**

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair! **(So are you just going to use whatever version of the spelling you want till you come up with something you think sounds cool?) **

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon**(Croon?)** voice say. "Allah Kedavra!" **(Is that actually a spell?)**  
>It was….. Voldemort! <strong>(Well yeah you're in his fucking lair what did you expect?)<strong>


	5. Chapters 14 through 17

Chapter 14.

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. (**If it was true you wouldnt be sharing that with the internet) **PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD. **(This whole damn thing scares the shit out of me. For a completly different reason than you think but thats fine cause in the end I still have to read this crap ; n ; )**

We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was.** (I have no idea who she's talking about)** Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snaketail **(Snaketail? Wasnt it like Wormtail or something?)** was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail. **(I still think its Wormtail. )**

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. **(I read that sentnce as slow as I could manage and I still cant friggin understand it)** "." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok) **(Wait... What did he say?)**

"Huh?" I asked.  
>"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely."What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." <strong>(Woah use the word fuck enough?)<strong>I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain. **(IM DANCING IN THE RAIN~)**

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly. **(Wait why are you crying?)**

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then… he started coming! **(... Im sorry he started what?) **We could hear his high heels clacking to us. **(Heels? ... IM JUST A SWEET TRANSVESTITE~) **So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying. **(Stop crying. You have nothing to cry about)**

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. **(Bunny mode acctivated?)** He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) **(*Facedesk*) **and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

"Its so unfair!" I yielded."Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything." **(Im at a lose for words. I cant think of anything to say )**

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Draco. **(This coming from Bunny #2 to Bunny #1)**

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. **(Thats a lie you were fully clothed actually) **Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me!**(That dosnt really matter anymore. He's dead)** I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away. **(A couple things. 1. You're "awesome" at everything cause you are a Mary Sue. 2. Did you even get dressed before you left? Or did they actually even do it cause Im extreamly confused at the moment.)**

Chapter 15. **(I cant believe Im still alive.)**

AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! **(THere isnt going to be enough room on your arms for that but whatever) **fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!

"Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"

But I was too mad.

"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!"I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it.**(Okay we get it you like Marilyn Manson. The least you could do is spell his name right)** He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists.**(*rolls eyes*)** I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch **(Woah enough merchandise there? God you're pretty much swimming in it) **and noticed it was time to go to Biology class. **(Hogwarts has a biology class?)**

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out.**(You did what?)** Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. **(Advanced? HA) **I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. **(Wasnt this supposed to be biology class...)** Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco! **(It turned to him? Or did it turn into him? Im confused)**

"Enoby I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide **(You actually did though. While you were dating her too.) **all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!."Then…. he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" **(*Youtubeing*)** (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) **(It actually makes pretty good sense cause they're lives are fictional up the ass)**right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) **(1. I only know 3 people in that list. 2. Only Gerard is somewhat hot.)**.

"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now) at them. **(I dont give a shit about your damn nails. Stop discribing them LOL) **"I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. **(Thats like the "preppiest" movie ever. Why the hell would you even include that in your story?) **Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. **(Omg ;dfjkgvnm) **We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether. **(My head literally hurts like fuck right now.)**

Chapter 16. **(*After 2 days of a headache*)**

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! **(I am mentally obsessed with Batman and Robin and anything that has to do with Flash. Im an deffinitly not a prep thanks) **raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! **(She finally come to her sences?) **BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese! **(You obviosuly dont know the lanuage if you cant even spell the name of the lanuage.)**

We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother.**(AHHHHHH EWWW NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO FUCK NO)** I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants.**(Unwanted and unneed information. I DONT GIVE A FUCK)** Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena.**(I dont really think thats a moshing song though...)** We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive.**(You're not allowed to do that... You would get removed by security)** Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask.**(Why the hell was he wearing a mask?)** So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers! **(...Are you so stupid that you couldnt realize it was them?)**

"Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily.**(Wait... what? I thought you were just at the concert)** "Not after what happened to me last time?**(Is that a question?)** Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them" **(I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALREADY AT THE CONCERT! Im lost again ; n ; )**

"What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted**(He's Insepctor Gadget now?)** uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what. **(From my exsperiance its the exact opposite B|)**

"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice. **(How do you yield someone in an angry voice?)**

"We won't do that again." Draco promised. **(Do what? WHY AM I SO LOST?)** "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."

"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" **(No he liked it before it was cool)** I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina **(Aguilera)** or what now?"

"NO." he muttered loudly. **(I tryed doing that and I sounded like I was OM NOM NOMing on something...)**

"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily.

"Enoby! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me. **(This song has nothing to do with this situation)**

I was flattened **(By a four wheeler would be nice) **cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! **(From the looks of the previous chapters he knows every damn song from Good Charolette)**

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room. **(I think this is supposed to be romance but all I can think is WHORE WHORE WHORE)**

B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). **(Its probably dosnt)** "BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!) **(I guess you really liked that sweater eh?)**

"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily. **(Wasnt she you best friend? In the story it makes no sence why you would hate her)**

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. **(Oh hell no you did not just say that)** "Maybe Willow will die too." I said.

"Kawai." B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. **(That dosnt even make sense...) **"Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak." **(Necphilak? Nec- OH Necrophilic.)**

"Kawai." I commnted happily.**(HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE TO THEM?)** We talked to each other in silence**(Talked to eachother in silence? You using your telekinisis powers? LOL)** for da rest uv da movie.

"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr." I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA." **(You sound like Gretchen Wieners)**

B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally lets go shopping." **(Once again Gretchen Wieners)**

"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde. **(I dont think they have those...)**

"No." My head snaped up.

'WHAT?" my head spuin.**(Like from The Excorsist? LOL)** I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?" **(Its okay to spend you emo money somewhere elts for once bitch. Calm your hormones)**

"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all."

"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don't even SAY that nam to me!). **(Wait why is she mad at Vampire?)** Or me.

"Dumblydore." She sed. "Let me just call our broms."

"OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly. **(Oh my fucking... farrot... god?)**

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few punkgoff storesSPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE**(That is like majorly messed up)** and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs."

"Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked.

"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera." **(I actually dont know cause that was during the whole WHAT IS GOING ON time)**

"OMFG NO THEIR **(*They're)**GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" **(Dont jump to conclusions)** I cried, running out of the changing room **(You never enterded the changing room but whatever) **wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said. **(Oh honey he's gay.)**

"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said B'Loody Mary.

"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. **(And he just lost his job : ) ) **Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA **(*sigh) **Way. What's yours?"

"Tom Rid." He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!" **(Dude. He's gay. Calm yourself)** I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!" **(Why does no one know her name?)**

Chapter 17.

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr! **(See thats why she stole your damn sweater you stole her poster. I told you you're not supposed to steal shit. You idiot)**

Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual).**(No no. He's gay. Trust me. Gaydar is going off like crazy right now)** Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. **(He was shooting at you? And to do WHAT?)**"WTF Hargrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard." Well anyway Willow came. **(Oh right yeah the DEAD chick)** Hargird went away angrily.

"Hey bitch you look kawaii." she said. **(Well she finally understands what kawaii means.)**

"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red **(Ugh is that a colour?) **miniskirt, leather fish-nets **(I dont think those exsist) **and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz.**( How do boots show off skin?)** She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic. **(1. That isnt a nice body 2. That isnt possible)**

"So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked.

"Yah." I said happily.

"I'm gong with Diabolo." she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. **(LOL) **They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. **(OH COME ON)** He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. **(...Ew) **Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B'loody Mart was going 2 da concert wif Dracola.**(Who the hell is Dracola?)** Dracola used to be called Navel **(...Oh.) **but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. **(So is he like B'loody Mary's brother? Cause I know you're fine with the incest thing)** They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. **(You should have mention that at the beginning of this explanation thanks)** Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak.**(Coke and crack are the same thing)** Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. **(Nothing new) **We soon got there….I gapsed.

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. **(How can you be such a damn fangirl and not know his damn eye colour?)** He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. **(Ethnic?) **We moshed 2 Helena **(Once again not really a song to mosh to) **and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. **(You did what? What the hell kind of a reaction is that?) **It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers! **(Hasnt this already happend? Im lost again ; n ; Finally started understanding understand what the hell was going on then she pulls this shit. UGUGBNRLEJG)**

"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily.**(LOL I bet)** "Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!" **(YES. DO IT.)**

"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' **(Since when do goth kids like Avril Lavigne? I mean like come on! Me and my cousins when we were little worshiped her. Deffinitly not goth) **on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…DUMBLYDORE! **(For once I wasnt expecting that cause Dumbledore dosnt have black hair... he's like bitchin old.)**

**AN: So I orignially started doing this with a friend on DA but she is taking forever to finish chapters 5-9 (yes thats how far ahead I am of her) So Im just going to upload by myself on here and wait for her for DA. So you guys actually get to read it XD DA not so much LOL So yeah reviews are nice cause they make me LOL at some of the stuff you guys point out XD Plus I always get into giant conversations with you people about stuff that has nothing to do with anything and thats fun c: So review : D**


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